There are few things in the world that I enjoy more than the way my legs feel when they're freshly shaven*. Well, that's a lie. There's actually a lot of things that I enjoy more. If I'd been stranded on a desert island for six weeks and a rescue boat motored up to me and asked if I'd rather have a Red Robin Chicken Burger (no pickle, no bacon**, avocado instead of guacamole) with bottomless fries and lemonade or if I'd rather have shave gel and a fresh razor, I'm pretty sure I'm taking the Red Robin. But that doesn't mean that the feeling of freshly shaven legs isn't amazing. Because it is. It's amazing.
I love the way my legs feel when they've just been shaved. And it almost doesn't matter what the weather is like; if I have newly shaven legs, I'm wearing a skirt or a dress or shorts. If my legs got shaveded in the last 10 hours, I'm showing them off. Which I think is pretty standard for most women (and the occassional man who is into shaving), especially if they're like me and have a tendency to go several weeks between shavings if they think they can get away with it.
But here's where I think I differ from most women (and the occassional man who is into shaving); if my legs are freshly shaven and I'm wearing a skirt/dress/shorts/whathaveyou, it's because I want you too to appreciate how nice my legs feel. I want someone to touch my legs and admire their softness. Admire their hairlessness. Ooh and aah over how wonderful they are. I want you to do it. Because if you don't notice how nice they feel, what's the point of even bothering to shave?
You see, I have have very light, very fine hair on my legs. I can get away with wearing a skirt/dress/shorts without having shaved for a week or two. I can get away with it, but I don't like to. Because it feels like I'm getting away with something. I get this strange almost guilty feeling in my gut when I wear a skirt/dress/shorts when I know that my legs aren't touchably soft and smooth. Which is just weird, I know. But the flip side to that is that if I shave my legs and wear leg-showing clothing and no one touches my legs and admires them, I get annoyed. Like, a lot annoyed. Unreasonably annoyed. Because I put a lot of effort into making my legs soft and smooth and touchable, world. And if you don't appreciate my efforts.... well that's just mean.
Now I know that you can't reach through the computer and appreciate the silkiness of my legs right now, so I won't expect you to coo over my legs right now. I'll just let you know; if you ever see me in a skirt/dress/legs, I fully expect you to run your hands over my calves and tell me that they feel nice. Because if you don't... I don't want to issue any threats, but if you don't, I may stop shaving my legs altogether. And then if you ever do try to feel my silky smooth legs when I wear a skirt/dress/shorts, my almost invisble leg hair will be all prickly and not-smooth. You'll be upset, understandably. But it will all have been your fault.
*What is the difference between shaven and shaved? I'm using shaven as an adjective and shaved as the past tense form of the verb. I think that's the right way to do it, but I'm not positive. Does anyone know the answer or feel like doing the reasearch for me while I'm at work?
**Yes, no bacon. I realize that this makes me a blasphemer to every food lover ever. I know. I just don't like it. Don't like the taste, don't like the texture. I just don't like it. No, you cannot make me bacon, or food with bacon in it, or bacon flavored anything in an attempt to somehow prove to me that bacon is the be-all, end-all food. Stop trying to make me like bacon, world. I don't. I'm sorry. I wish I could live up to your bacon-lover standards, but I can't. I'm sorry.
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